STAIL Entries: Want To Contact Your Ex? Here’s What To Do Instead

Written by Spageti
by Ian Vill

Want to contact your ex? Here’s what to do instead.

 

Think about why you want to text him. Is it for closure? Girl, you got your closure the moment he decided to leave. That’s closure for you. You want to tell him you miss him and that you still love him? Really, now? Will those words fix it? Will those words make him come begging for you to take him back? Nuh-uh. He’ll just think that you’re some weird girl who can’t get on with life without him.

DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET OUT OF CONTROL.

You will just hate yourself. Here’s what you should do.

 

First, put your phone where you can’t reach it. Hide it under the pillowcase, put it inside your closet, hide it in your brother’s room. Just place it where you can’t see it. And never ever look for it until this overwhelming feeling passes by.

 

Second, paint your nails. Red. Or any color that you know your ex won’t like. You can’t text him if your nails are drying, right? Hype that seductive color, girl.

Read a book. Or a magazine. Just immerse yourself in words. Soon enough, the urge to text him will not cross your mind again. 

 

Go grocery shopping. Buy that big ass corn chips! Buy booze. Buy that tub of ice cream you’ve been lusting for days. No one here is going to judge you if you eat it out of the tub, my dear. 

 

Go talk to your mom. She’ll be ranting about stuff that is totally unrelated to your ex that you won’t even remember the urge to text him. Yeah, moms are the best. 

Write. Write what you want to say to your ex. Write down everything. Do not hold back. After writing it, read that shit out loud in the mirror. Cry if you must. Then take a hot shower. Scrub all the places that he touched. Scrub them clean– you no longer need his dirty hands on you. 

 

Knit. Yep. Just do something you know you won’t do if your ex is still with you. 

 

Go out of the house and say “hello” to every animal you’ll meet. 

 

Say the name of your ex out loud ten times. Let it roll off your tongue then never say his name for at least a week. 

Sleep it off. Just go to sleep and never think of him. If he comes up in your dreams, shrug it off and have coffee. Or tea. Heck, you can have beer if you want. 

 

You see, baby girl, you just miss the feeling of being with someone. Remember, if you miss him, think about the disrespect he did to you. Think about all those nights you cried yourself to sleep, begging the universe to give him back. Remember how his lips curved when you first told him you loved him then imagine his blank eyes when he told you “it’s over.” It’s okay to miss him, it is perfectly fine to think about the good old memories you once shared. But as you remember those, please, my lovely girl, remember how he left without a second thought and never even cared to see if you’re okay.

 

Cheer up. It’ll get better. 

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